In the mall today, I overheard the comment "It's like he was Michael Jordan, and you are Charlie Sheen." This was apparently very funny, as all three guys listening burst out in laughter.

It's troubled me since then. How are those two men related? The best I can come up with is they both had martial problems, but surely you could keep the analogy going with another actor or sports figure. That's what I would call a mixed simile. Yes, the celebrity figurative language police are on the prowl.

The reason I was in the mall was to buy Tim's Valentine gift, which I have to admit, was partly something I wanted too. But he's cooking tomorrow night, which is something that he'll enjoy the fruits of too, so I felt somewhat justified. And there is an amazing popcorn store in the mall that has a kajillion different popcorn flavors, like jalapeno ranch, and Parmesan garlic, and what says "I love you" like loaded baked potato popcorn?

UPDATE: Tim just informed me Sheen and Jordan are in a Hanes commercial together, so it's not as odd as I thought.